THE BITCH KNEW THAT I'D BE BACK... Says Uni Q. Mical , Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 3:06 PM, in Labels: miss honey, moi rene

Possibly one of the funniest things I've seen since OHIO STAAAATE !!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzzrPC-3xPM) 

Me and my peoples played it OUT in three days it was so hilarious. See the original video, and the parody we did below.

Wherever you are, Moi Rene, I bow down. You're amazing. And the brothas in the back too. Lmao eternally.

And I hope we did it justice:

So...I Voted. But Are Really We In The Building? Says Uni Q. Mical , at 2:45 PM, in Labels: colorblind, obama, racism, white people

After having my absentee ballot chillin' at the bottom of my bookbag for 5 days or so, I couldn't get any inspiration to actually fill out the little ovals in pencil. Until I'm in the school store with my homegirl, and we see Obama on the cover of Vibe magazine...he actually wrote a personal letter to the readers, telling us that it's NECESSARY now, more than ever, to vote. He understands our cynicism, but that shouldn't be the excuse we give for why we didn't put our two cents in. 

Of course, in a perfect democracy, this would all make sense. I can't help but go conspiracy crazy once November 4th gets here, and Palin rifles her way to the White House. Neverthless, I jetted to the mailroom and filled out every.last.oval (for Baltimore City, they want us to vote for 5011 different things--namely a $40,000,000 loan to the school system). I guess you can say I felt accomplished.

But in all reality, I haven't been pleased in listening to Obama lately. His war-hungry rhetoric is obviously him saving his ass from being called a Muslim, and his "save the middle class" just seems far too safe for me to relate to. It almost feels like he's not even speaking to us (yeah, US) at all anymore, but trynna walk this tightrope for Joe 6-pack and them middle america white muthafuckas who wouldn't think twice about voting for him. Grant it, he can't be a Jesse Jackson and solely discuss the needs of people of color, but he could AT LEAST mention us. But no, any specifics would deem him playing 'the race card', and would ACTUALLY admit to the fact that wow, there IS racism in this country, and people of color ARE affected by it! 

I'm so sick of white folk i dont know what to do. 

And not just any white folk, no...the Six Flags America,  "I'm not racist, I have black friends" muthafuckas who cannot comprehend their own privilege, and see how racism not only marginalizes us, but elevates them, just by virtue of being white and in this country. I don't care if you, personally, haven't called anyone nigger in ur LIFE, but the system around you that you exist in has fucked us over since the ships. And that's just the gospel truth. So you could at least be aware of this, and of your own accountability in perpetuating this...your naivete and denial doesn't help either.

Okay, I said all that to say Obama's got a hell of a position. These folks are gonna be watchin him like a hawk. And is it wrong of me to think, that just because he gets in office, all of a sudden he's gonna REALLY start talking about our interests? Naw, cuz at any given moment, he has to remain colorblind. To be colorblind is to remain neutral on race and how it has EVERYTHING to do with our positions in this country, and to appease those white folks that think we're soooo over racism and can move on to more important things. Yes. We've definitely reached that promised land. 

Come November 4th, I'll be sittin by the TV with my bottle of Captain Morgan's and an icegrill. It's gonna be a long night.

"in the magical land of youtube, racism doesn't exist" Says Uni Q. Mical , Tuesday, September 30, 2008 at 10:55 PM, in Labels: black, dancing, kid, racism, youtube

...but i've gotten some of my most VISCERAL reactions of the day just by looking at the comments UNDER the videos. i can't possibly be the only person that notices this shit is a problem.

i spend most of my day fighting off the dreadhead hippies and "post-racist" hipsters at my school for their privileged and still blatantly racist comments (your hair's so amaaaazing unique--no, lovely--no, jova? i dont know, you all look alike)...but this shit reminds me that when white folks get in the CYBER world, where they can remain anonymous enough to not get the shit kicked out of them...they wanna get gully. real gully.

so i think i might've set me up for this by typing "black kids dancing". but you know, they luhhhh us when we tappin for 'em! firstly, the pig who posted this says this about the video:

"lol ok so i don't even care anymore. maybe if you stupid ass black people wouldn't make your own damn stereotype and jump to conclusions about other people bein "racist" towards you than we wouldn't have so much fuss about it. and really all the comments typed out in like black people language aren't doing you any good, i can't undertand you and neither can anyone else. have the common courtesy to argue your point with some real words."

and the peanut gallery speaks:

ignoramos

Do you know how to keep a nigger from drowning? Lift your foot of the back of its head...

mrsunderwood7

I wish you would come to my town saying nigger. We have something waiting for you and ya family. After its over we will see who goes home to their family that night. Ill tell you now you wouldnt be going home. But we will give your family money to help out with the cost.

ignoramos

Now why in the hell would I ever want to go into the projects...You are one retarded shitskin...
NObama 08

mrsunderwood7

I dont live in the projects "SHITSKIN" no how on our street is worth less than $250,000.00 you do the math. Our community is rich but we will still crack a head open fool!!

ignoramos

"no how on our street" What the fuck is that liverlips... And just so you know, you niggers are shitskins you dumb fuck...

...and honestly, i wouldnt even BEGIN to stereotype their kind as some redneck southerners. they're living right next door to you, going to school with you, and can go home to their affluent, comfortable, sparkling white abodes.

AND, the finale for me. i thought i was gonna be "colorblind" and just type "funny kids"...the fucking crowd went wild.



now while i know this evokes the deep-seated love and compassion america has for the exaggeratedly black and unkempt pick-a-ninny, getting devoured by alligators, standing alongside alfalfa shouting "ohhhh-taaaaay!!!!" you'd think we were soooooo over this type of racism, right? WRONG. and disregard the fact that he's actually in a suit and not wearing a piece of savage cloth.

come on y'all, you GOTTA love this shit:

ognimoddd

THIS KID IS SO BLACK OMFG NEEGROUH

omg man i need some duck tape,a bannana,and vasoline.lol

fucking ugly kid! thats all

pixelsword

The racists are just jealous because at age five, that kid will already have a bigger penis than them.

MTLYOUTH

stop da hate against dat nigga yallz
cuz he might steal your bicycle

sloth11223344

happylobe........u,one dumb mother fucker!!!!!fucking fagget,ur noone to juge me!!!!go get fucked by a big black guy named tank

robertobobedd

What is it?? Is it an animal?? :)
Ohhh yhea is a Monkey.

(i'm not racist, i voted for obama. this country's not racist, a black man's running for president...racism is a social construct...affirmative action--isn't that, like, reverse racism?...my grandfather fought in the civil war, so you owe him an apology...wu-tang's soooo awesome, yo!...oh my god my black boyfriend had the BIGGEST cock i'd ever seen!...! oh shit! lebron james on a pack of bubbilicious!)

i can't go on anymore. honestly, i don't even wanna share the same country with these muthafuckas. this the shit that makes me PERMANENTLY bitter. that makes me say, if you're white, you're racist. point. blank. period. whether the blatant, slur-filled triggering bigots, or their mean-well "i'm not racist, but..." cousins.

where IS the forum to actually have a constructive conversation about race in youtube and the like? hell, will there ever be one? especially in times when no one sees this as a major problem, or says we're being too sensitive? SINCE WHEN WAS RACISM EVER OVER FOR US TO BE SENSITIVE ABOUT IT? obviously the ones sayin this shit don't have to deal with it everyday. fuck 'em. we gotta push thru this blind ignorance.

aight, just hadda get that off my chest. now back to lookin at TLC videos.

we wear the mask, y'all. Says Uni Q. Mical , at 1:05 AM, in Labels: hood, hot ass day, pissed, reporter

no matter how much time goes by, i hadda revisit this.

"what really happened that day at augusta high school... SHEEEEEIT!!!"

this has got to be the greatest example of that double consciousness we always hear about.
and watch JUST how fast homeboy gets hood on em.

the only thing i could think of...i guess there's a little nigger in all of us.

LaBruzzo...another white man who JUST DOESN'T GET IT. Says Uni Q. Mical , Monday, September 29, 2008 at 10:19 PM, in Labels: eugenics, labruzzo, racism, reproductive rights, women of color

should i even be surprised anymore?

somewhere in new orleans, ANOTHER white republican wishes to jerk off his conservative peers by talking of how he wants to pass legislation to pay poor women $1,000 to have their tubes tied. his reason? to shun them away from "generational welfare to generational welfare." what's better is how he's willing to give tax incentives to "college-educated" families to have MORE children.

aside from this being a clear and literal INSULT on the bodies and lives of poor women and women of color, it also illustrates the complete disregard for us to make our own decisions of what to do with our bodies. it also bleeds of the eugenicist mindset of our government towards us, thinking that weeding out the "unfit"--the poor, the disabled, the anything-but-white--will lead us into a sudden surplus of wealth and resources.

apparently $1000 is supposed to compensate for the centuries of generational poverty we've been in. this is not at ALL by faults of our own, but decades of racism, neglect, and down right disapproval of our bodies even making it beyond 'scratchin n survivin'. cuz then, we'd be a threat (and BURN THIS MUTHAFUCKA DOWWWN). but obviously if we had any power and resources, we wouldn't need to rely on the government, now would we?

but of course, to them, it's easier to scapegoat and blame our bodies and neighborhoods so they can justify NOT pouring resources into our schools, hospitals, housing, et cetera. and as long as we think we're the problem too, they're doing their jobs perfectly. no matter WHAT economic situation women of color find themselves in, this does NOT give the government control to decide how we conduct ourselves. trust, they havin just as many babies as we are. (hello palin.)

hog maws & nigger links. Says Uni Q. Mical , Monday, August 11, 2008 at 2:05 PM, in

...emancipate urselves from mental slavery...

u can't
bury the word

NIGGER

but let the actions continue.

born on the back of porches
as savage and minstrel
words we never hear 2day
but still the package we live thru
seem since civil rights left
we been more backwards than kids’ shoes

thinkin if we got a few hunnids
in stacks and some crisp shoes
then we done made it big—
but still callin these cracklins our rich food
still plugged in2 the corners
niggas mackin when chicks move
but if she say nothin
she get attacked as a bitch—

PROVE

2 me
we somethin higher
cuz our mentals done expired
and this poverty’s stronger than physical
when
we think
we can't aspire
2 this upward mobility

these three year old girls be killin me
mean muggin from the womb
and we just laugh it off as silly
see
these school kids
who crackin on that boy
for doin arithmetic
screamin

YO BEIN WHITE!

but ask him for answers 2 the drill n shit
and we wonder why we payin students
2 bring a love of learnin
2 the skills they flip
not 2 be another dropout
draggin drug doe 2 the dealership

i sit and think round the clockers
where in this generation are our doctors?
our lawyers and our voices
our leaders that’ll watch us
but if i look around again
i see it’s WE we on a watch for
can't wait on y’all 2 act
cuz we’ll be sleepin in them boxes
days long gone from King dreamin
we need a scheme beyond the blocks y’all

but long as we scapegoats
we won't ever think we capable
long as u think u a nigger
ur mind and body gon’ stay lazy yo
frozen on the pa-tio
thinkin bout mercedes doe
they trapped us with the projects
so we can't pass on houses
2 the next generation yo
still redlinin our hoods
banks still don’t trust our paper yo
slicin us with credit cards
act now or debt’ll be the death of yo
got some grown ass rappers
who can't even pay their taxes
and little kids idolize em
stuffin bling bracelets under the mattress

but white folk kno just the hat tricks
feedin us MCs and athletes
don’t take no intellect 2 do this
so we stay suckin on this black meat

programmed 2 think this our only method
2 get out the street
ain't no
aspirin scholars
just chump dollars from this rap release
but the moment u fuck up,
fox news be lynchin on a laughin spree
they only let us niggas get but soooo far
before they crack our teeth
but with every reality
tv show
we proud of we
but just cuz our faces multiplied
don’t mean it’s positivity

SEE NIGGERS ALWAYS BEEN ON TV!
THIS SHIT IS FAR TOO EASY!

read from a script
grab a glock or ur dick
hoes make sure that weave is the slickest
and cuss him out too,
if need be

THERE’S MARKETS THAT KEEP OUR PALMS ALL KINDSA GREASY!

stereotypes carried over from the 1800s
back when mammy run it
now it’s rasputia who’s gruntin
now soulja boy spittin that shit
that even zipcoon can't stomach
but i don’t blame him—
he’s a gimmick
for when record labels push their buttons:

give ‘em the latest dance,
latest shuffle that they wantin
keep these niggers salivatin
but remainin in these slums &
feed ‘em finger-lickin pig feets,
red kool-aid 2 chase the rum
fast food joints on every corner
chokin on them sesame seed buns

see y’all white folks a trip
tellin’ us 2 eat organic
round here, that word’s a joke—

nigga, pass that bologna sandwich!

y’all hog all the whole foods 2 yaself
charge $10 for bananas
meanwhile a chicken box
ain't but $4.50
and THAT SHIT’LL DO SOME DAMAGE!

but we so full of itis
we can't even read the prices
thinkin we deserve this treatment
hood zombies livin lifeless
the ghettos just babysit us

don’t teach us 2
succeed but 2 survive this

weren’t taught 2 use
king and queen speak—
a long ways from Nefertiti and Isis

and it kills me 2 think
that it’s the 21st century
we still waitin on cotton paper
2 caress our hands so gently
and this decade,
IT AIN'T NO RACISM!
nobody pourin salt on me at diners
but it’s
1/4 niggas in bmore
behind barbed wire till their time’s up
it’s queens who gotta fight
2 have custody of their
vaginas
callin us murderers for abortions
cuz we can’t afford ur piece of the pie
it’s
that baby who woulda lived
2 repeat the cycle of his papa
missin in action
idolizin dribblin black men
with no respect for a woman
this side of the tracks i’m

spittin the puckerin truth
go ‘head and try 2 taste this

nowadays,
u ain't got-ta call me a nigger 2 be a racist

just grow up far away from us
with ur only representation
bein weezy/t-pain/new york/maury and flava flav
and tell me i speak so articulate,
i’m so well behaved!
runnin fingers thru my hair
2 feel the knots,
u’re so

amaaaaazed

at how we do it
turn bein poor in2 a movement
but if them crack dollars ain't invested
bro, u just look FOOLISH
don’t think we worthy of our accomplishments
so we wear chains of self-hatred
though we make that shit look maaaad fly
inside fear still dominates us

the diagnosis?
post traumatic slave disorder
and they still can't medicate us.

dekLaration of pens wit difference. Says Uni Q. Mical , at 2:01 PM, in

MY NUMBER EIGHT...JEAN GRAE SALUTE. DONT SLEEP.

ppl listenin
n think my rhymes r nonsensi--
cal--but im cooler than the stars in november
27th runnin pleasant no achin archnemesis
so imma drop definitions u gon’ remember kid
fuck bein bout cleanliness
im grittier than a chicostick
dipped in sand art castles wit sharpeners full o pencil mist
raspier than ur drunk aunt talkin shit while the glass of whiskey drips
ready to whoop ass at cookouts if SUMBODY don’t get these kids
ladylike don’t sit well in my stomach like month old chitterlins
so lil miss priss can trip over stilettos from her bitterness
eyes beatin me to grounds cuz i embody all u wish u is
but y wrap urself in hate like white folk who slaughter christmas meanins
so used to mean muggin-well i respond u wit a different greeting:
hi, my name is kLef, i understand u sensitive n teethin
angry u can't place me, threw TANtrums cuz i don’t switch wit sweetness
carryin no purses/skirts/or burstin out the tits wit cleavage
cuz im on a mission 2 bring this rap game outta nigger season
and for all my actions, yo, u must feel that im sick wit treason
but i missed that class on cloning—sick w/ fever while they wrists r freezin
distanced from this drama so on the really bitch just please get
off the shoestrings draggin-im restricted n can't lift my feet up
2 jump back onto my planet where rays is beamin but the mist is ether
peace followers-im outta here-and HELL naw i won't miss u neither.